This is something that I wrote when I was told I had to do another speech. I wanted to share it since it seems that I won't be reading it anytime soon. I hope you glean from it, and attempt to apply it. If not, then oh well.
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Hello. I hope I find you well. I'm supposed to get up here, and tell you how I did it and the like. I am supposed to do that, right? I think I'm supposed to. At least, that's what I've been told, but alas...

So many people! Goodness, I didn't expect this many. I expected a couple of people. Not much. Just a humble amount. Yet, the turn out! Goodness, I'm a 14 year old with HFA! I'm not Stephen Hawking! If anyone's advice you should be taking, you should take his. He has the Albert Einstein Award (won in 1978), the Wolf Prize (won in 1988), the Prince of Asturias Award (won in 1989), the Copley Medal (won in 2006), and the Presidential Medal of Freedom (won in 2009). These are prestigious awards we are talking about! I'd advise you give him a ring-up, but he has a motor neurone disease (which is related to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) which has impacted him severely.... And on top of that, I'm not exactly sure if I could get a hold of the man. He's certainly busy with his Stephen Hawking things...

I guess you're stuck with me, since I can't get him. What was I doing? Right... How I did it, success story, the like. Right... You've just made contact with a cloudcuckoolander.... Be proud. In case you're confused about what a cloudcuckoolander is, allow me to provide a quote for you: "You know when you're sitting in a chair, and you lean back so you're just on two legs, and then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but just at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time." — Steven Wright

I would promise you that I would keep it short, but if you've noticed the rambling I did, it would be a promise unfulfilled. Ah... Yes... Story time...

I'm not sure what to say here. I'm not sure if there's even a story to be told... I'm a story... I'm not done yet. I'm still being written. I'm a novella in the works.... Yes! I've found something important to say! Changes begin within. So you yourself must desire the change. If you do not truly desire the change, then change will not come. Allow me to elaborate...

If you do not desire to do better in a particular class, then you will not do better. If you would like to do better in said class, then I suggest you set yourself a mid-year resolution. Well... Unless you're going to summer school, you'll have to start in September. If so, I feel bad for you, but lucky you! You get to try out my advice now instead of September. If you don't have summer school, then I hope my words will move you enough to make a change.

Nonetheless, whether at school or at home, I advise you to pay more attention. Ask more questions. Actually do your homework when it's assigned instead of copying off of the nearest person's paper on it's due date. Spend more time reading and working on your spelling instead of playing basketball, updating your Instagram status, buying music off of iTunes, earning more prestige on Modern Warfare multiplayer, or posting a new picture on Tumblr.

Am I saying that you should spend all of your waking hours studying? That absolute dullness is the way to be a good student? Oh no! Not at all! It's not a grievous sin if you fancy a new Tumblr post. Nor if you fancy a Modern Warfare multiplayer game. Nor if you want to challenge a mate to 2K12 because you'd like to show off your wicked skills. Nor if you fancy a song off of iTunes. Nor if you fancy a Instagram status update. Go! Go, and fancy it! You just might see a post that helps you along your way. Note... When I say fancy, I mean: feel a desire or liking for. Before you think that I am rambling, I am not. I'm saying that if you want to game or update, do it, but have your priorities straight.

If you have a problem with this, then I suggest that you get into a pattern. I cannot give you a pattern to follow, you must find your own. And once you find your own, follow it religiously and vigourously. Do not derive from that pattern unless a life and death situation at hand. However, while I did say find your own pattern, I advise you to not let that be procrastinate, then start your homework when it's 12 in the morning. You won't get enough sleep, and you'd have to do your homework in the morning. You don't want to work before school, do you? No. You don't.

Now onto behaviour. Behaviour is a pretty big thing for teachers. So I suppose the best advice I can give is: Just shut up, do your work, and hope all goes well. It worked for me. I hope it works for you. If it doesn't, then bite your tongue when you get the urge to talk. Oh, and one more thing for behaviour... Stop singing these pop song verses in class. A lot of people don't care much for the songs, and you're not very good singers.

I suppose I should shy away from the advice I gave you on the academics and near-ritualistic patterns. Right? Right. While academics are highly important, and I do not lie, I suppose I should do my best to give you advice on sociality. I know it wouldn't be very good advice, but do hear me out. I hope you're able to follow my logic on this.

I know you absolutely enjoy hanging out with your friends, but sometimes your friends aren't exactly the best people for you. If I wasn't suppose to give you good advice, I'd tell you to do away with them all, but then you'd be left alone in the wide open air... It's opener there in the wide open air. Right! Sociality! What to say...

You need to meet some positive, intelligent, and logical people. I know positive, intelligent, and logical people. They're the best of the best! Sometimes I manage to fail at forming a platonic bond with people, but the ones I do manage to make are the ones that I enjoy the most. I suggest having positive people in your life. I'm not just saying in an academic sense, I'm also saying this in a social sense. Have a person (or people) that can recognize your strengths, your weaknesses, and that can keep your morale up.

Oh! One more thing! Success stories don't go to the living. They go to the dead. In case you haven't noticed... I'm alive and well. I'm breathing, talking, walking, and my thought processes are all in their usual line up. Not that having a certain thought process is enough to be alive. I mean, a schizophrenic might have a different thought process than an autist or a neurotypical, but he's still alive. A weird kind of alive, but alive nonetheless. I just wanted you to know that I'm not a success story because I have greater things to achieve.

In short, before I get off of my makeshift pedestal, allow me to reiterate the main points:

1. pay more attention
2. find a balance for homework and fun time
3. find a pattern and follow it religiously and vigourously
4. shut up, do your work, and hope all goes well
5. don't sing bad pop song lyrics
6. meet some positive, intelligent, and logical people
7. don't choose swag over good grades
8. you're never a success until you've fought Ezio